For the crossings
life asks
us to make
Bespoke, co-created rite
of passage ceremonies
for women
“Ruth holds and creates such beautiful, caring, healing spaces for women to be in circle, ceremony and drum. I always feel soothed and energised by the magical sessions that she holds, with such deep integrity and presence.”
- Alexandra Wilkinson
There are moments that deserve to be marked
A diagnosis.
A recovery.
The last of the bleeding.
A leaving, a loss, a becoming.
Something ends, something begins, and you are not quite who you were.
Once, these moments were held.
The village gathered. There was fire, and drumming, and people who stayed to witness you cross.
Now we are mostly left to cross alone, in waiting rooms and on the school run, unmarked and unseen. The body knows a threshold has been passed but it hasn’t been witnessed.
What a threshold ceremony is
A way of marking the crossing properly, with your own people around you.
We create it together, you and I, and I can weave it with whatever it needs, ranging from circle work, collective drumming, drum journeying, guided meditation, sound, ritual and ceremony.
It is rooted in Celtic folklore that is of these islands of Britain and Ireland rather than borrowed from elsewhere.
It is one of the oldest thing there is: being seen by your people as you step from one life into the next.
The crossings
we can mark
Almost any. Some that women come to me for:
A diagnosis, the start of treatment, or the end of it
Living with, or moving through, chronic illness or pain
A terminal diagnosis, and the wish to be celebrated by your people while you are here to feel it
Perimenopause and menopause, entering and emerging, as the masks fall, the parts that kept you safe are thanked, and the woman beneath them is met
The end or beginning of a relationship, or a marriage
Becoming a mother, or the nest emptying
A bereavement, or a grief that has gone unmarked
Leaving a home, a place, a way of life
Any threshold your body knows it has crossed, even when no one else has named it
The drum ceremony was natural, enchanting & magical. We made magical memories that will last forever in our hearts. Thank you Ruth for bringing community, music, laughter & togetherness to lots of women.
- Harpreet KaurWhy being witnessed matters
We were never meant to cross alone
In every old culture the threshold was held by the community.
You were parted from the old, carried through the in-between, and then welcomed back, changed, by people who had watched it happen.
The witnessing was the thing that made the change real.
A passage no one sees stays somehow unfinished in the body.
This is what a threshold ceremony gives back to you.
Not advice, not fixing.
Your people, gathered, staying, witnessing you become who you now are.
How we build it, together
I'm Ruth, and I have spent years holding women in circle.
I came to this work through my own crossing, when chronic pain reshaped my life and the drum was the thing that carried me.
So I hold these days knowing from the inside what it is to stand at a threshold and to be witnessed.
It begins with the two of us talking. You tell me the threshold you are approaching or have already crossed, and who your people are.
From there we shape the ceremony together, so it is yours. If you want to know more about me and how I work, it is all here.
On the day we make the space our own
We build an altar at the heart of the circle, with things that hold meaning for your crossing, a photograph, a stone, something from the life you are leaving or the one you are grieving.
We cleanse the space with smoke and sound, we settle, and the drum begins to gather everyone in.
From there it moves in three parts.
First we honour what is ending with ritual. You name it aloud, or you sit in silence and let your people witness it for you.
We might write what you are ready to lay down and give it to the fire or the water, a letting go the body can actually feel, the drum holding you the whole time.
Then we cross, and the drum carries it
Your people can take up the drums and play you across, carried by the very hands that love you, voices rising with them. Or, if you would rather receive, I facilitate a drum journey for you and your circle into the in-between. This is the heart of it, the threshold itself.
Your people might crown you with flowers or a blessing over you one by one, or sing it. There may be a candle lit from one shared flame, bread broken together, wishes written down and gathered in a jar for you to keep. And always there is seasonal herbal tea ceremony and a token to carry away, something to hold the day in your hand. You are changed, and now it is seen and known.
And then we welcome you in
“A wonderful drum ceremony hosted by Ruth.
A place to reconnect, heal, and
let all be free to express
with the aid of the drums.”
- Carolina UpexWhat your threshold ceremony might include
At its heart, is the drum. You choose between:
A drum circle, where your people take up the vegan shamanic drums I bring and play with you in Circle. Rhythm slips past the thinking mind and into the body, the nervous system drops, and the sound your Circle makes becomes the very thing that carries you. No experience needed.
A drum journey, where you and your Circle lie back and receive while I drum and play other instruments. The rhythm carries your busy mind down into a deeper, dreamlike state, the one words can't reach, where something can rise to meet you.
-
An altar at the heart of the circle, foraged from the land and built from what matters to your crossing, everyone adding to it
The space opened with smoke or sound, the directions and the land called in, so this time is set apart from the everyday
Naming and witnessing what is ending, aloud or in silence, said into the open and finally seen
Toning or sounding all the crossing stirs, the grief and the fear, the anger, the relief, even joy, the body giving voice to what words cannot reach
Setting down what is no longer yours to carry
A letting go, a letter to the fire, an object to the earth, or water over the hands, the transition allows the body to feel
-
Toning, chant and song, the circle's voices rising together until the sound itself becomes the thing that carries you
Free movement or dancing, shaking the old loose, for any body that wants to move
Fire scrying, gazing into candlelight until the thinking mind softens and something rises to be received
Water scrying, gazing into a still dark bowl, the water a mirror for what is ready to surface
Celtic folklore and goddess archetypes woven through, a story or a goddess to walk beside your crossing, so you do not cross as only yourself, and the whole shaped to the season if you wish
-
Blessings spoken, sung, drummed naming you into who you are becoming
A candle lit for you from one shared flame
Flowers, a shawl, an anointing, a crowning, marking you as the one who has crossed
A seed or a tree planted for what is beginning
A tea ceremony with the whole circle raising a cup, the return to the everyday made sweet
A token or a symbol of the day to carry away
Where, and with whom
Your ceremony can take place in your home, a hall, or out in the woodland, wherever your people can sit in a circle.
After the crossing
It can be a few of your closest, or a wider gathering. We shape the size and the setting to the crossing, and to you.
A day like this can open you, and what rises does not always land in the moment. So we stay in touch afterwards.
There is a check-in in the days that follow, a place to bring whatever the ceremony stirred, and time to find your feet in the life on the other side. You are not left to integrate it alone.
If there is a crossing ahead.
Or one behind you that was never marked.
I would love to hear about it.
Get in touch, & we can have an exploratory chat about
what your ceremony could be.
Get in Touch