Body wisdom & boundaries: Healing chronic pain through somatic practice

A personal exploration of somatic healing, boundary setting, and coming home to ourselves through the wisdom of our bodies.

How your body speaks through physical pain

My jaw ached for months. A deep, grinding, all-encompassing pain.

Until I spoke my truth. Until I finally let the words I'd been holding back flow free with compassion, honouring both myself and others. The pain lifted.

Our bodies know. They speak to us in the language of sensation, of tightness and release, of pain and ease. As someone who spent years being a chronic people pleaser, I keep learning this wisdom anew.

This connection between emotional suppression and physical pain isn't rare - it's one of the most common patterns I see in my healing practice. When we don't feel safe to speak our truth, our bodies often speak for us.

Body wisdom: physical signs of emotional boundaries

My hips shift out of alignment when I'm carrying too much of others' weight. My back seizes when I feel unseen, unheard. My heart space closes when old patterns of taking on others' reactions try to creep back in.

“Our bodies don’t just keep score of our wounds. They guide us toward healing. ”

They show us the way home to ourselves. For those of us who learned early to prioritise others' needs, our bodies often provide the first clear signal that a boundary needs setting. That persistent headache, that chronic tension - these aren't just physical complaints. They're wisdom speaking.

Coming home to my body

Recently after receiving a harsh response to a boundary I'd set, I felt it happening - that familiar tightening in my upper back, the protective hunch of shoulders, the freezing of my neck. The physical response to others' disapproval is something many of us know intimately - it can feel like our whole nervous system is bracing for impact.

I went into the pain. I listened to the part of me that was hurting. I mothered that scared inner child who learned long ago to take responsibility for others' feelings. As I held that space of compassion, my back literally cracked open, movement and ease flooding back in.

The wisdom of setting boundaries

I've learned this in my journey as both a trauma-informed healer and a woman walking her own path of recovery: our bodies hold infinite wisdom. When we start putting up healthy boundaries - speaking our truth, honouring our needs, letting go of responsibility for others' reactions - our nervous systems begin to feel safe. Really safe. Perhaps for the first time.

It's not always easy. Some people respond to our boundaries with understanding and respect. Others react with anger or manipulation. I remember the first time I said no to a family obligation - my whole body trembled, but afterwards, my chronic shoulder pain eased for the first time in months. As someone who felt responsible for managing others' emotions for most of my life, learning to let those reactions belong to them has been both powerful and challenging.

Coming home to ourselves

Every time we listen to our body's wisdom, every time we honour its signals instead of pushing through, every time we choose self-respect over people-pleasing, we come home to ourselves a little more. `

We reclaim another piece of our authentic nature. This journey can feel lonely at times, especially when those closest to us struggle with our changes. But with each step, we find others walking the same path, recognising the same truth in their bodies.

The Selkie's journey

This journey reminds me of the Selkie - the seal woman who must reclaim her skin to return to her true nature. Like many women, the Selkie's boundaries were crossed, her essential self taken from her.

“The Selkie’s story of reclamation speaks to all of us who are learning to trust our bodies’ wisdom, to set clear boundaries, to return to ourselves.

These ancient myths carry deep wisdom about the feminine journey of reclaiming our power, our voices, our right to say no.”

A path forward

If you're on this journey - if your body is speaking to you through pain or tension, if you're learning to set boundaries and feeling the weight of others' reactions, if you're tired of giving pieces of yourself away - know that you're not alone. Your body's wisdom is waiting. The path home is there, marked in the language of sensation and truth.

Sometimes healing happens in unexpected ways. 

Sometimes the back pain that would normally take months to resolve shifts in a moment of self-compassion. Sometimes the chronic tension melts when we finally say "no" with love and clarity.

Listen. Your body knows the way.